How can there be passion and romance if the love is not rooted in strong feelings?įurther, feelers may worry that, at bottom, unconditional love is impersonal and undiscriminating. They may also wonder if and how principled love can translate into passionate love. Feelers may therefore question whether unconditional love, if primarily a decision or principle, is really love at all. For this and other reasons, feeling (F) and judging types in particular may take issue with its veneration over and against other types of love.įor F types (especially F dominant types, e.g., INFP), feelings are the most important and valid forms of judgment. Potential Downsides of Unconditional LoveĪs hinted at earlier, one could argue that because unconditional love is not really a value judgment but rather a means of eschewing judgment (especially negative ones), it is a self-contradictory concept. Both perceivers and adherents to unconditional love are inclined to explore ways of modifying their inner attitude before attempting to change their partners or their external circumstances. ![]() Similarly, unconditional love can be viewed as a form of self-adaptation, a declaration that, regardless of circumstance, the necessary self-adjustments will be made to maintain a loving attitude toward one’s partner. This includes finding ways of rethinking difficult situations so as to render them more harmonious or compatible with the self. Instead of trying to change outer circumstances (or one’s partner) as J types are wont to do, perceivers’ natural inclination is self-adaptation. Perceiving (P) personality types also seem more naturally wired for unconditional love than judging (J) types. ![]() Such individuals (often thinking types) may have limited access to their feelings and thus look to cognitive strategies to govern their attitudes and behavior. Unconditional love may prove particularly appealing for those who prefer to be guided by principles rather than by feelings or emotions. Indeed, unconditional love is often heralded as a higher or more mature form of love because of its ability to weather the tests of time. If love is a pleasurable feeling to both give and receive, then why not experience it all the time? The reliability of unconditional love may also make it easier for couples to stay together during difficult periods, including times when feelings of passion or infatuation have waned. One potential benefit of unconditional love is its steadfastness. Moreover, because unconditional love is a conscious choice it is thought to be maintainable under nearly any circumstance. What remains in consciousness, then, is primarily positive-a sense of love and appreciation for one’s mate. In many respects, this attitude functions to override or temper any negative feelings that may arise regarding our beloved. As others have noted, it involves a conscious decision to approach another person with a specific type of attitude or mindset. Namely, unconditional love seems more like a principle or a type of subjective lens than an assessment of value. Put differently, can a love that is without conditions rightly be described as love? Perhaps unconditional love is an entirely different sort of thing. If love is a value judgment and value judgments are based on specific conditions, then the notion of “unconditional love” almost seems oxymoronic. While it may only take one taste for us to discover our love of strawberry ice cream, it’s hard to determine exactly how or why we arrived at this conclusion. In many cases, we make judgments without a full understanding of their attendant criteria. However, we are not always privy to the nature of these conditions. Value judgments are based on certain conditions or criteria. Similarly, antonyms of love-notions such as hate or dislike-represent negative valuations. For example, the expression “I love strawberry ice cream” indicates a strong preference or affinity for a particular food.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |